Book Review: Welcome to Bordertown

From Goodreads:

Bordertown: a city on the border between our human world and the elfin realm. Runaway teens come from both sides of the border to find adventure, to find themselves. Elves play in rock bands and race down the street on spell-powered motorbikes. Human kids recreate themselves in the squats and clubs and artists' studios of Soho. Terri Windling's original Bordertown series was the forerunner of today's urban fantasy, introducing authors that included Charles de Lint, Will Shetterly, Emma Bull, and Ellen Kushner. In this volume of all-new work (including a 15-page graphic story), the original writers are now joined by the generation that grew up dreaming of Bordertown, including acclaimed authors Holly Black, Cassandra Clare, Cory Doctorow, Neil Gaiman, Catherynne M. Valente, and many more. They all meet here on the streets of Bordertown in more than twenty new interconnected songs, poems, and stories.

Yes, yes, this is my second anthology review in as many weeks. Shut up, I've been finding some really good ones.

I'm not quite sure why I didn't pick up Welcome to Bordertown when it first came out, other than A) I was busy with finals and I forgot about it, and B) I'm occasionally really stupid and doubt the awesomeness of authors. Thankfully, Cassandra Yorgey saw that I was blind and showed me the light. Namely, she did this by scoring me a pass to FaerieCon East where I got to meet AND HAVE TEA with Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman (Guys! Ellen Kushner bought me tea!) so that I would understand their awesomeness, and then she lent me her ARC to read. Now I keep this book next to my bed, beside my Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide, in case of emergencies.

The Good:

Beautiful writing by a ton of authors, many of whom I know and others I am looking forward to reading more from. Welcome to Bordertown really explores and makes use of the best aspects of writing in an anthology. There is a world - Bordertown - that has established rules, geography, history, which must be obeyed by everyone. But working within those rules, writers can do whatever they want. And that leads to a collection of stories as varied as the dwellers of Bordertown themselves. Characters of every ethnicity, gender, species, age, sexual orientation, etc can find a place and a voice in the stories of Welcome to Bordertown - which, by the way, is a great way to make readers feel welcome.

The stories progress in a sort of chaotic order. In the first few stories, we're introduced to this hopeful new world, where the misfits and unorthodox have a place and anything is possible. More stories expose us to everyday life in Bordertown and the risks it poses to its' occupants, both old and new, stripping away some of the promise of Bordertown and turning into a place like any other. Full of dangers. Full of opportunities. Just like everywhere else. Finally, as we near the end, we see the darker side of Bordertown, with its injustices and the people willing fight against them. It's a beautiful storytelling arch, showing us that even with magic and faeries, you can't run away from your problems forever. Happily ever afters must be fought for constantly.

The Bad:

There's not so much Bad in this anthology as there are personal requests. More comics. Fewer poems. More poems. No comics at all. Why is there a motorcycle on the cover?

The Rest:

My standard warning for anthologies applies here: Not all stories are created equal. It is more than likely that readers are not going to like every story in here. But you're going to like an awful lot of them, I promise.

Final Thoughts:

Beyond being great YA, this is just a great book period. I would recommend it to anyone interested in fantasy, and frequently do. I sincerely hope it won't be another 13 years before the next Bordertown book comes out.

My Rating: 5/5 Mushrooms.

Book Review: Daughter of Smoke and Bone

See this cover? This is a nice cover. I like this cover.

From Goodreads:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages—not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out.

When one of the strangers—beautiful, haunted Akiva—fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

In this particular case, it's more than appropriate that I start the review with a Goodreads description, as it was on Goodreads that almost all my friends recommended this book to me. Given the sterling recs I'd been given, when the birthday B&N gift-cards came around, it was a no-brainer to pick this one up. I'm thrilled to say I wasn't disappointed.

The Good:

The writing, as promised, was beautiful. Taylor has a way with words that makes you want to wallow in them, without succumbing to overly ornate purple prose. Writing like this makes me think of foods - maybe my mom's fruit parfaits - which are delicious and I can enjoy them everyday, guilt-free. Okay, yes, Laini Taylor writes like my mom's fruit parfaits. Let's go with that.

The world is enthralling. The more I read, the more I wanted to know. Even had I hated the story, I would probably read the rest of the series just so I could know more about how everything worked. Luckily, the story is pretty cool. The mechanics for the price of magic are maybe not the most original, but they're presented in a way that is fresh and emotionally wrenching. And Taylor's theology - the chimera versus the seraphs -is a delightful twist on familiar religious lore. It makes my theology and cosmology loving heart happy.

Sweet Ceiling Cat, the characters. I love the secondary characters. I want more of all of them. These characters are vibrant and real - at least, as real as secondary fictional characters can be. But you don't have to guess about Brimstone's disapproval or Zuzana's delightfully charming threats of violence and mischief as they are integral to the characters personalities, ascending the realm of 'quirks' to being a part of who that characters is. As for our protagonists....

Karou is perhaps my favorite YA protagonist since Katniss. She's strong and smart, but heavily flawed and we know it. She's self-centered and cruel at times, ungrateful and indecisive. These aren't "I'm so clumsy" traits to make her relatable. These are real, difficult obstacles for her to overcome in herself. But for as awful as they could be, these traits make me like her more. When she's kicking ass, she's not some untouchable Wonder Girl. When she's torn between wanting to hang out with Zuzana while Brimstone is sending her on another extraordinary errand, you can appreciate that she really is just a teenager caught between worlds with absolutely no middle ground. Her complaining and self-centeredness is made sort of forgivable by merit that, while it isn't necessarily harder than any other teenagers life, it is so other that there is no one she can talk to about it. There is no one else like her, no one to understand. At the end of the day she is always alone. Until Akiva.

 I don't know how to feel about Akiva. He feels a little like every romantic interest. I'll leave him up to the interpretation of others and withhold my own judgment until another book.

The Bad:

The writing in the second part fell apart at points. Maybe it's just me, since I haven't seen this complaint elsewhere, but after all the gorgeous, luxurious writing of the first half, certain chapters and scenes in the story of Madrigal seemed almost clinical and detached. It was, in a word, disappointing.

The Rest:

I won't put the romance under The Bad, because honestly, it's one of the best and most believable 'love at first sight' stories I've ever read. But I really wish it hadn't consumed so much of this first book. It felt like the plot had suddenly been jerked hard toward the second star on the right and straight on til morning. It was super dark and then abruptly sunshine and puppies and twu luv! It felt like the romance became its own, almost separate story, tangential to the original plot.

Okay, it wasn't that bad, but it certainly felt that way at times. Probably because I'm the enemy of all romance.

Final Thoughts:

If there isn't more of Brimstone in the next book, I'm going to riot.

The sequel, Days of Blood and Starlight, is due out November, 2012.

Rating 4.5/5 Mushrooms

Book Review: The Game

Since the beginning of July up until two days ago, I had an 11 year old living with me. An 11 year old who wasn't too fond of reading. Eventually, we found common ground in museums, where she got to look at shiny things that used to belong to dead people, and I got my history mojo flowing and all was right in the world.

We also went to the opening night of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - more on that later. Before heading out, she asked me if I had anything short for her to read while we were sitting in line, and since I never get rid of books I like, I found her something.

Behold!

From Goodreads:

Hayley's parents disappeared when she was a baby. Since then, she has been raised and homeschooled by her grandparents. Grandad is overworked and travels a lot; Grandma is much too strict and never lets her meet any children her own age. When Hayley does something wrong—she is not quite sure what—they pack her off to her aunts in Ireland. To Hayley's shock, her family is much bigger than she thought; to her delight, the children all play what they call “the game,” where they visit a place called “the mythosphere.” And while she plays the game, Hayley learns more about her own place in the world than she had ever expected. This original novella by Diana Wynne Jones is sharply funny, fast-paced, and surprising until its very end—like all of this acclaimed author's work.

The Good:

As a lifelong fan of mythology - Greek and otherwise - , and a childhood player of my own 'games,' this book struck a chord with me. The world of the mythosphere is fascinating and full of possibilities. While the late, great Jones draws predominantly on Greek and Roman mythology, she touches on other sources as well, including folk and fairy tales, and even classic literature, making the world seem dazzlingly familiar.

The characters are charming and reasonably memorable, in concept if not in actions. It's easy to see that this evolved from a novella; the concept is amazing, but the work executing it seems only half done, especially with the characters. However, the magic Diana Wynne Jones touch makes even the things that seem only half formed charming.

The Bad:

One of the things I've always had mixed feelings about with regards to Jones' writing is how soft a hand she uses. Often times, it works really well, but there are stories and moments within stories where I feel that she sells herself short by not delving deeper into the subject. Hayley's loneliness about her parents, the frustration of the cousins and the rest of the family about having to obey Uncle Jolyon, the motivations and machinations of Harmony, Fiddle, and Flute are just a few of the areas that I feel could have been explored more thoroughly.

The mythosphere has the potential for not just a larger book, but a series of books, and I confess to being disappointed that more time wasn't devoted to this world. Of course, there's always the realm of fanfiction, and who's to say that in a few years devoted readers won't write their own sequels as was done for Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. But it won't be Diana Wynne Jones writing it, and that makes me sad.

The Rest:

While this book is mainly targeted at Middle Grade readers, I think it's enjoyable by all ages, Young Adult included. On my reread, I noticed mentions of a lot of darker myths that younger readers might not notice which add a lot to the sense of danger and risk in the mythosphere.

While the size of the books bothers me personally, it makes for an approachable, non-threatening book for kids who consider themselves non-readers. The Game is quick, colorful, and engaging.

My Rating: 4/5 Mushrooms.

Playing with the Stars,
-Maria

WAYR 7/23/11: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Lately, I've been wrestling with Michelle Hodkin's debut novel, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. And I mean wrestling in the best, most infuriating way ever.

TAC 11 Book #3: Despite my known abhorrence of headless figures on covers, I'm actually okay with it. This cover fits the tone of the book very well so far.

I'm not going to use the jacket description here, because it really doesn't describe much.

The premise is that Mara, our narrator and protagonist du jour, has just survived an accident that has left three of her friends dead. She has no memory of the event, including how her friends died, how she survived completely unscathed, or why they were even at the location of the accident. What she does know is that the accident has left her with increasingly intense hallucinations - the product of PTSD from the accident, her doctors tell her. While Mara is consumed by guilt for her friends deaths, fear of her deteriorating mental health, and frustration at the amnesia her own mind has enforced on her, the decision is made to move away from the constant reminders of her friends. Maybe, with reminders of the tragedy and her lost friends put behind her, Mara can move on with her life and begin to get well.

She doesn't.

The family's new home in Florida only seems to exacerbate Mara's problems with the additional stresses of a new school, a high profile court case her father has taken on, and an alluring if infuriating classmate with a rather daunting dating past.

I'm about halfway through as of this post and working myself back into reading the rest. I enjoy Hodkin's writing and it's easy to get wrapped up in Mara's unease as her mind betrays her and the tantalizing mystery of the accident as her memory regains bits and pieces of that night. In fact, the intensity of the writing in that regard is part of why I had to put it down - I get very empathetic toward characters in stressful situations; it's a real problem sometimes.


I like that Mara, as a character, is morally ambiguous. She's not obviously good, but she's not bad either. She's simply existing in her mind as it appears to be falling apart around her.While I think Libba Bray did it better in Going Bovine - and Madame Bray does just about everything better, I think - , Hodkin's imparts a believable sense of horror and fascination with what's going on.

There are a few things that are driving me crazy, though.

It can't quite seem to make up whether or not it's a paranormal thriller or a psychological one. There are certainly heavy aspects of both, but it can't quite seem to decide if it's one or the other, and it hasn't quite resolved itself enough to be both.

Also, love interest Noah is attractive in that way only fictional characters can be; too cool for school in a fictitious universe, the guy I and my friends used to harass mercilessly in real life. As a reader, I'm sure many a girl will lust after him, but I have a hard time seeing Mara falling for such an absolute asshole. She gets that he's cute, but she doesn't want a relationship - at least at the point of the book I'm at now, where everything is all tense and broody between them. Then again, she is going crazy....

Anyway, I'm curious to see how this book ends and will get back into as soon as I stop being such an over emotional wuss*. For those who care about such things, this IS part of a series. Michelle Hodkin's is working on Mara Dyer 2: Electric Boogaloo AT THIS VERY MOMENT. If you lack an ARC like moi, you can still visit the website at http://michellehodkin.com/ or talk to the author herself on Twitter.

Psychodelically Yours,
-Maria

*That said, I'm going to go cry over Deathly Hallows some more.

Book Review: The Color of Magic/The Light Fantastic

From Goodreads:


The Color of Magic - On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet...

The Light Fantastic - In The Light Fantastic only one individual can save the world from a disastrous collision. Unfortunately, the hero happens to be the singularly inept wizard Rincewind, who was last seen falling off the edge of the world...


I'm pairing these novels together in one review - the first two books in Terry Pratchett's much acclaimed Discworld series - because I consider them two parts of a whole. This is probably because  I saw the movie, The Color of Magic, first. As the movie combines The Color of Magic and The Light Fantastic, they are inextricably linked in my mind.

The main characters of both books are Rincewind and Twoflower. Rincewind is an incompetent wizard in his thirties who was kicked out of The Unseen University in Ankh Morpork - school to all wizards - after it became clear he had no talent for learning spells. Rincewind has his own opinions on why spells refuse to stay in his mind, all of which stem from an incident in his youth that left one of the eight great spells that created the Discworld lodged in his brain. Rincewind is pessimistic in the extreme, a die-hard fatalist, and not so happy about existing in a world run by magic.

Twoflower is the Discworld's first tourist, an insurance agent from the Counterweight Continent who decided to save his pennies and see the world, starting with the twin cities of Ankh-Morpork. He's a bit of a dreamer, a cock-eyed optimist,  and utterly naive about the ruthless culture of his chosen vacation spot. He's also staggering wealthy by the standards of Ankh-Morpork's residents.

By a hilarious twist of fate, these two diametrically opposed personalities are paired together as Rincewind is appointed Twoflower's guide to the Discworld on penalty of certain death. Thus begins a long, rollicking adventure to the end of the world and back again, accompanied by a very unusual and bad tempered piece of luggage.

The Good:


The writing is sharp, acerbic, and clever; everything I've come to love and expect from contemporary British authors. What I love about Pratchett's writing in these books is the balance of satire and sincerity. While obviously poking fun at high fantasy and science fiction tropes - like barbarian heroes, dimensional travelers, and pesky gods,  - the Discworld is completely sincere about its' absurdity.

The characters were completely and unmistakably themselves, from the main players to the supporting cast. There is never at any point a risk of confusing one character for another. While Rincewind and Twoflower nearly succumbed to the more superficial aspects of their design, even they grew reliably and realistically. By the end of The Light Fantastic they were still themselves, but slightly improved versions of themselves.

I got these books for free while visiting Cassandra Yorgey as she was clearing out her library. Free book = happy Maria.

The Bad:

This is more a complaint about my copy and an unfortunate commentary on the state of my eyesight, but I had a hard time reading it at points. I think this had much more to do with the close print of the edition I was reading and the fact that I was only wearing my glasses half the time than anything related to the quality of the writing.

The Rest:

I can't think of anything else I've ever read that is quite like the Discworld. While I enjoy that immensely as a reader, as a reviewer it makes it hard for me to draw comparisons for other readers. The only other piece of fiction that's the same in tone is another product of the UK, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which ironically, he wrote a sequel for.

One of the most frequent complaints I noted on review sites like Goodreads and Amazon was that perspective readers were wary of what was meant when fans called it 'satire' and 'comedy,' citing that people all had their own standards for funny. I think most people who like fantasy or science fiction would enjoy this humor. More than anything else, these books seem to make fun of themselves and the characters trapped within their pages.

Final Thoughts:

These books are funny, well thought out and plotted, and I think they appeal to a larger audience than just fans of fantasy. While the Discworld books aren't marketed as YA, I think they're safe for that demographic; there was nothing in these two books that was any worse than what I used to read in my brother's comics.


I have almost the entire series thanks to Cassandra and I enjoyed these two books more than enough to want to read their sequels. Expect more Discworld reviews in the future.

My Rating: 4.5/5 Mushrooms

 

Searching the skies for giant sea turtles,

-Maria

Book Review: Reckless

Spooky AND pretty! I like it!

For years, Jacob Reckless has been secretly disappearing to another world, a world behind a mirror, a world for which his father abandoned his family. The mirror world is Jacob's escape from reality. It's a place for treasure hunts and magnificent quests. A world where witches haunt the forests and giants and dwarfs roam. A world locked in a deadly war.

Jacob's secret seems safe, until one day his younger brother Will follows him, with disastrous consequence. Faced with a curse that is quickly turning Will to stone, the Reckless brothers are thrust into a race against time to find a cure before Will is lost forever.

Inspired by the Brothers Grimm, master storyteller Cornelia Funke introduces a lush, enchanting world where fantasy meets reality. Reckless is a thrilling adventure, a tale of heroism and loyalty, filled with danger, mystery, and magic--with fairy tales and legends re-imagined as never before. - Goodreads

I've been eagerly awaiting the release of Reckless ever since I saw - and missed my chance to acquire - ARCs at BEA last May. Cornelia Funke is one of my favorite authors and in the first book of this new series, she hasn't disappointed me.

The Good: Funke maintains her well earned reputation for world building, blending European history with an abundance of fairytales, making this new world eerily familiar and frightening. Like the Ink series, Funke has taken a typical tool for crossing into new worlds - in this case, a mirror - and made it her own, wrapping it in its' own mystery.

One of my favorite tricks from Cornelia Funke is how she lets us into the minds of the major players, and even some of the side ones, to help reveal motivations and back stories piece by piece. I loved how she did it in the Ink World Series, and it's no less effective in Reckless. Everyone has their own voice and their own small but crucial part to play, and Funke let's us see the world through their eyes. It's confusing sometimes, but it pays off in establishing the roles and species of the characters, and the world through their eyes.

The story unveils slowly, but compellingly. While I enjoyed the first couple of chapters, I didn't realize how deeply I was hooked until I tried to put it down. It's a long book, which can get irritating if, like me, you've got a lot of other books to read. But it's a surprisingly quick read for its size, and I've been quietly longing for the next book since I finished it months ago.


The Bad: I have no idea when the sequel is coming out and I need it like Emma needs Nutella.

The Rest: Cornelia Funke's writing style tends to lean slightly towards info dumps, but 1) I kind of like info dumps if they're done well, and 2) Cornelia Funke can write good info dumps. Be warned, this is the first book in a series, so if you just want a stand alone book to wallow in before putting it down and moving on, hold off on this one.As a reader, I was drawn into the characters just enough to become invested in their futures and intrigued by their pasts and mysteries, but the book drops off just as those mysteries become even more devious and compelling.

Final Verdict: If you like fantasy and cliff hangers, this is a book for you. If you don't like cliff hangers, wait for the rest of the series to be published and then lose yourself in another fabulous Funke world.

Rating: 4.5/5 Mushrooms

TBR 8/18/10 - War of the Witches

Outsider Anaíd leads a solitary life in a small village in the Pyrenees with her mother Selene. She does not suspect there is anything particularly s ...more Outsider Anaíd leads a solitary life in a small village in the Pyrenees with her mother Selene. She does not suspect there is anything particularly strange about her family, aside from her mother’s personal eccentricities . . . until one day Selene disappears without a trace and Anaíd is confronted with a shocking truth, her mother is a witch, prophesied to be the chosen one to end an ancient war between two feuding clans.

I read this book in ... 2007? 2008? Sometime around then. I loved it. I finally ordered it on Amazon (because I couldn't find it anywhere else) and I'm expecting to have it in my hands soon.

WAYR 4/27 and TBR 4/28

Back again with a new What Are You Reading. It's a day late thanks to raging storms in West Virginia yesterday, knocking out the internet connection in my Secret Lair. I miss DSL y'all.

This week, I've been reading the Vampire Diaries. (Peer pressure, I cave to it.) I finished reading the first book, The Awakening, I'm working on the second, The Struggle, and skipping ahead to peek at various scenes in later books, of which there are many. We've gone over my bad reading habits before, right? Right.

(Prepare yourself for the inevitable Twilight comparisons)

The Awakening introduces Elena Gilbert, the cool, aloof, uber popular Ice Princess of Robert E Lee high school. She's the girl every guy wants to be with and every girl wants to be. And most guys HAVE been with her, at least on a date. But Elena wants more out of life, though she doesn't know what that more is yet. All she knows is that popularity ain't cutting it, and while she jumps from date to date trying to make a connection, she remains lonely and unsatisfied. Until Stefan Salvatore comes to school.

Elena has never wanted anything or anyone as much as Stefan; dark, handsome, foreign, and irresistible. An easy conquest she thinks: nothing that she's ever wanted has eluded her before, certainly nothing male. But Stefan defies her attempts at even civil conversation.

As Elena continues her seemingly futile quest to gain Stefans attention and a date, all is not well in her town of Fells Church. Her childhood friend Caroline is suddenly out to get her. Another friend, Bonnie, has discovered she's psychic and begins prophesying some scary shit. People are being attacked by an unknown and possibly non-human assailant, a strange crow has been following Elena around town, and another young man of unknown origin keeps popping up whom Elena is alternately drawn to and repulsed by.

What is going on in Fells Church and why does it all seem to be centering around Elena?

We don't really find out in this book. What we DO find out: Stefan is a vampire. Kind of a whiny one too. His brother may or may not be bad-ass and awesome and a real vampire. Elena and her friends Bonnie and Meredith MIGHT have personalities and depth but we can't be sure from the first book. Likewise, Elena might be a Mary Sue, though her almost whoring tendencies help keep it in check.

Twilight comparisons begin ... NOW:

To generalize, I like it better than Twilight. That is not a glowing commendation by any means, but that's what you get.

+10 for having something resembling a plot and effective -if glaringly obvious - foreshadowing.

MAIN CHARACTERS:

Elena is not QUITE a Mary Sue yet. Sure, she's beautiful and sweet and smart and the queen of the school, but when she acts like a brat she gets called on it, WHICH I GREATLY APPRECIATE THANK YOU VERY LITTLE STEPHENIE MEYER. She's beautiful, shallow and self absorbed, though not so much on purpose as she tends to forget other people have problems. When she remembers, she apologizes and tries to make up for it. In most cases she tries to be considerate to others and is apparently loyal to her friends. I can't think of any examples of this offhand, but it's mentioned.

In the very first chapter, as Elena is writing in her diary (oh I see what you did thar), we see that this is a very lonely and lost girl at heart. She's trying to find home, a place she hasn't felt since her parents died, and she's looking - misguidedly in my opinion- for that home in another person. But that misguided search is part of what makes Elena a more believable character than Bella in my opinion. She is not "an adult trapped in a teenagers body." This is a teenager with all the foibles and flaws, mistakes and misadventures one has when one is young and dumb and infatuated. In my opinion, all this adds up to a character who may not be entirely likable, but is one who's more believable and slightly sympathetic.

Stefan is the prototype for Edward McEmopants. Wah, I'm a vampire and I don't want to be one I just want to try have a normal life blah blah blah. Thank God he's not a perfect marble cupcake Adonis* or else I'd have to smack a bitch. His avoiding Elena and related infatuation is better explained than just 'she smells so om nom-able and she's so purely good I must protect her and klutz-adorableness even though she can never love me in return woe.' Elena looks almost exactly like Katherine, the vampire who turned Stefan in Renaissance Florence and whom he and his brother loved (mmm kinky) and who died because Stefan and his brother Damon couldn't get their shit together and because she was, well, retarded.

But Stefan grows to love Elena NOT because she's like Katherine, but because she's DIFFERENT from Katherine omgwtfbbq. Elena is strong and opinionated and knows what she wants (totally unlike wishy-washy fickle Katherine no Katherine you can't have both brothers no you cannot NO YOU CANNOT PUT ONE BACK WE CAN ONLY AFFORD TO FEED ONE).

Also cool, there are actual explanations for why Stefan and his brother can go outside in the daylight, how they eat (fangs! Yay!), what they eat (Stefan continues to throw his hat in the ring of Biggest Vampire Pussy Ever by eating bunnies even though eating people gives you awesome Powers which allow you to ...not...be a...vampire pussy...*headdesk*)

NOT QUITE MAIN CHARACTERS:

They have more personality than just about every side character from Twilight rolled together with the possible exception of the werewolves. Seriously, the Quilloute wolves need a reality show. I'd watch it over and over and over and over and over and over again. Carrying on: ROLL CALL!


Meredith: She has a brain and routinely calls Elena on her spastic self absorbed shit. For this, she has my eternal love, even if she isn't precognitive and steals cars.

Bonnie: Flaky, psychic, a little creepy but largely comic relief and plot mover and shaker. She's an adorable ball of magical fluff who's rightly terrified of her own growing powers. I kind of love her.

Matt: Elena's latest spurned love, and yet he's SO NICE. He also calls Elena on her self absorption but then rolls right on over and lets her kick him like a retarded puppy. Matt has issues. I want to hug him and kick 'im in the balls at the same time for competing with Stefan for the Wussiest Wuss Award of the year. I hope some nice girl takes him and rides him like the beast of burden he's determined to be.

Damon: Holy shit it's a man with a spine....aaaaaaaand he's a douche. A stalker douche. A stalker douche who's at least HONEST about his desire to wet Elena's panties EDWARD. Seriously Wardo, either you want the girl to jump your bones or you don't. PICK ONE. Damon is, as mentioned above, Stefans brother. Stefan's OLDER brother. And he takes serious issue with Stefan being such a girl. I'm kind of waiting for Damon to give Stefan a box of tampons for Christmas...if he doesn't kill him first. +3 for killing people, +3 for holding a grudge, +4 for shape shifting and other vampiric abilities, and +5 for being an all around bad-ass evil hottie.

Is that everybody? Probably not. Did I forget anything? Probably so. Do I care? Definitely not.

Can you tell what's on my To Be Read pile? ONWARD TO FINISHING BOOK 2 THE STRUGGLE!

I Vant to Suck Your Blood,

Maria D.


*All credit goes to Miss Cleolinda Jones.

To Be Read 4/13

Today on the To Be Read pile is In the Night Garden: Orphans Tales #1 by Catherynne M Valente.
Goodreads description:
Secreted away in a garden, a lonely girl spins stories to warm a curious prince: peculiar feats and unspeakable fates that loop through each other and back again to meet in the tapestry of her voice. Inked on her eyelids, each twisting, tattooed tale is a piece in the puzzle of the girl’s own hidden history. And what tales she tells! Tales of shape-shifting witches and wild horsewomen, heron kings and beast princesses, snake gods, dog monks, and living stars–each story more strange and fantastic than the one that came before. From ill-tempered “mermaid” to fastidious Beast, nothing is ever quite what it seems in these ever-shifting tales–even, and especially, their teller. Adorned with illustrations by the legendary Michael Kaluta, Valente’s enchanting lyrical fantasy offers a breathtaking reinvention of the untold myths and dark fairy tales that shape our dreams. And just when you think you’ve come to the end, you realize the adventure has only begun….

I've wanted to read this book since it came out, but I've had the hardest time finding a copy of it. I DID manage to find part of an audio book for it on iTunes, and what I heard only made me more determined to read it. Sadly, audio books and I don't mesh. I get so caught up imagining what's being described that I fall behind the pace of the story being read.

Lyrically fantastic,
Maria D.