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was sold to gypsies as a small child for half a tank of gas and a kitten. She was quickly, if not easily, retrieved by her mother after the kitten was revealed to be an Eldrich horror looking for a ride into the nearest metropolitan area to begin wreaking havoc. It's been a bone of contention between Maria and her family ever since, whether the Horror-kitten would've been more or less trouble than she grew up to be.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

November Horrorscopes

Come and read the horoscopes they didn't want you to know about.


Your roommates say they love your new haircut, but you know they’re lying. However, the stars foretell that your plan to sneak into their rooms, cut off their hair, and make a wig will only end in tears.


In the wake of Balloon Boy, your planned flight across the American Midwest in a home-made dirigible will not go over well. Rolling along Route 66 in one of those giant hamster balls still has potential though.


Beware public transportation this month. The Turkey Jihad begins.


Stay away from the barn lounge. The zombie squirrels have returned and are lying in wait to steal your lunch money and net book.


Your love of show tunes will be surprisingly helpful during that pop quiz in Studies in Mythology next week.


The stars say not to worry; your Thanksgiving turkey will turn out perfect. The pie is a bad idea though. A VERY bad idea. Also, the cake is a lie.


No, they're not coming back. The stars want you to quit asking.


Your attempt to hijack a float and start a dance party at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will not make you the new Ferris Beuler. You will instead be dubbed "Balloon Boy 2: Helium Boogaloo" after an angry mob ties you to the Pikachu balloon and lets go.


The stars say "Please ask again later."


We know what you're thinking: was that hottie you kissed at the MFS Halloween Bash really a girl? Only her plastic surgeon knows for sure.


Your new lab partner is really cute. The stars hope it's enough to save them from your wrath when they turn out to be dumber than toast and you're stuck carrying their work load.


Your letter from Hogwarts is going to arrive next week!

Once again, I completely ignore my homework in favor of blogging. At least this kind of counts as school work... sort of... in a manner of speaking. :3

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